FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Tender. Loving. Present. A great mom. Patient, kind, considerate. That’s how Kelly Paduchowski's family will remember her.
“There are no negative words to describe Kelly,” Mary McFall, Kelly’s mother, said. “She always tried to come from her higher self.”
The 45-year-old mother of two was found dead on July 5 after she was reported missing by her husband, Daniel Paduchowski, on June 30. Daniel Paduchowski, 58, told police he killed his wife and told police where they could find her body on July 5.
Daniel Paduchowski agreed to plead guilty to second-degree murder and other charges, officials said. He will serve a 16-year sentence in the Arizona Department of Corrections and will not be eligible for early release, Coconino County Senior Attorney Michael Tunink said.
Lindsey McFall, Kelly's identical twin sister, found out her sister was missing from her mother, Mary. Lindsey said she and her wife drove from Denver to Flagstaff that night.
"I started shaking, just immediate panic," Lindsey McFall said. “It’s just been a long horrible week.”
But Mary and Lindsey both want to make sure Kelly is not remembered for what happened to her in her last moments.
“We all just hope that Kelly doesn’t get remembered by how her life ended, but by how she lived,” Lindsey said.
A 'lovely, creative nature girl'
Mary said her daughter came into this world as a "lovely, creative, nature girl from get-go."
“She was one of those people that if she tried it she did well at it," Mary said of her daughter.
Kelly made beautiful pottery after just one lesson, her mom said, and was training for a triathlon she was going to race in just a week after her death.
Lindsey said her sister was "inspiring" and "always growing." Even though Lindsey herself is not an athlete, she said watching her sister train made her want to be one.
“I just wish I could have seen her do this triathlon," Lindsey said.
Growing up and into their adult years, Mary said Lindsey and Kelly brought out "the goofball" in one another, interacting and communicating in ways only twins could.
“She was my best friend,” Lindsey said. “I love being a twin, I love it. It’s like having a guaranteed friend.”
Community coming together
When Kelly was first reported missing, Mary said there were many people who volunteered to search for her, and when the police said she had been killed, many people took to social media to offer their support.
"The volunteers who showed up when they thought she was a missing person… it makes me cry,” Mary McFall said. “It’s so heartwarming. It’s hard to put into words.”
Everyone who has posted on social media shares the same sentiments as she does, Mary said: that Kelly's death is a loss for the whole community.
“This event really shocked and shook this town,” Mary McFall said. “It just made me realize that even in her demise, she really brought the town together.”
Mary said the police, the detectives, the victim’s advocate, and every officer and city employee she and her family interacted with made finding Kelly their number one priority.
And that made all the difference.
“People aren’t just a number in this town,” Mary said. “They responded with respect and concern and you could just tell they were really dedicated… I feel more connected to this community than ever after going through this experience because they were amazing.”
She has spent days answering messages of prayers and kind words about Kelly.
“They’d say ‘we don’t have words for this,’ and I would say ‘you don’t need words, just the fact that you reach out – it sustains us,’” Mary said.
Honoring her life & legacy
Mary had a heart-to-heart with her daughter at the beginning of June, when the pair visited the Wool Festival in Flagstaff, not knowing what lay ahead.
"It was the first time we had really been together just the two of us,” Mary said. “That was so unique because she’s usually being a mom and so busy, and not available for that kind of event. But it happened and it was just a joy…. I’m so glad I have that really sweet memory of our time together.”
After her death, Kelly's family set up an altar to honor her. It has pictures of her and drawings done by her children, and a small electronic candle.
Every seven hours, the candle will turn off, and it is Kelly's children who will turn it on again, making sure a light shines on their mother's memory.
Kelly is survived by her two children: her 7-year-old daughter and 9-year-old son. Mary said she thinks it is her grandchildren who are Kelly's legacy.
“It’s my hope that they are as ethical and loving and caring and patient and kind as she was,” Mary McFall said. “Not to be a doormat, but to be strong and know why one leads a good life.”
Lindsey said her memories with her twin could fill "many books," but she will always remember how excited they were to see one another.
"I see her when I look in the mirror, I see her when I look at her kids,” Lindsey said. “I will talk to her every day for the rest of my life."
Kelly’s family started a GoFundMe after many people – even some who never met Lindsey – asked how they could help. All the money from the GoFundMe will go into a trust for her children. You can find the fund here.
"We will honor her just by remembering what an awesome human being she was," Lindsey said.
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