x
Breaking News
More () »

'We can’t even put everyone in the family together in the same room': COVID-19 concerns change grieving process

The death of a son or daughter can turn a life upside down. Sandra Dowling knows first hand as COVID-19 is changing funeral plans after a great loss.

PHOENIX — The death of a son or daughter can turn a life upside down in the best of times. But with the new rules aimed at stopping the COVID-19 outbreaks, it’s impacting how families can grieve and try to say goodbye.

Kyle Dowling passed away on March 22nd after a battle with Acute Liver Syndrome.

Sandra Dowling, Former Maricopa County school superintendent, is Kyle's mother.

“A hidden terrorist in our society,” Dowling said about COVID-19.

Sandra Dowling’s son, Kyle, was a marine who served two tours in the middle east.

“I'm very proud that he is my son,“ Sandra said “He really had a sense of justice, doing the right thing for the right reason”

Dowling would lose her son unexpectedly in his sleep last month. The family is still working to deal with the grief.

“You want to pinch yourself and wake up from the nightmare. But you keep pinching yourself and you wake up with bruises,” Dowling said.

And with COVID-19 concerns, Sandra Dowling faces even tougher choices.

“I've had to apologize to him.. and ask him for his forgiveness because nothing was the way we wanted this to be,“ Dowling said. 

Planning for a funeral and laying Kyle to rest has been difficult, Sandra Dowling said.

There will be no memorial mass and no more than 10 people in a room at the same time, due to restrictions meant to help slow the spread of the virus.

Even if Kyle's family numbers 19.

“We can’t even put everyone in the family together in the same room and have everyone in the family support each other,” Dowling said ”Trying to divide the family up who needs more support and who can be there to support the other one.“

Choices like these are now the reality. A celebration of life and potential memorial mass has been delayed until restrictions are lifted. Dowling said they may try to live stream some of the funeral to allow Kyle's friends to be there, at least in spirit.

She said there really is no perfect solution there. She commends the Governor and President for working to try and stop the spread. She said stopping the spread would have been what Kyle wanted. 

Especially if it stops someone else's son or loved one from dying too soon. 

In the meantime, a family will attempt the process of trying to say goodbye. 

“I want Kyle to be at peace and I want Kyle to move on with his new life.“ Dowling said. 

The family would like any donations to be sent to the Wounded Warrior Project, American Society for the Prevention and Cruelty to Animals, or the Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation.

Sandra Dowling said she will start to advocate for those who suffer from PTSD. 

The family says once we get through this, and after the restrictions have been lifted, they will hold a celebration of life for kyle.

Wounded Warrior Project is a nonprofit organization that helps veterans and active duty service members. Learn more about our programs or how you can support wounded warriors.
As state and local governments enact preventive measures to reduce the further impact of COVID-19, we encourage both elected and regulatory officials to ensure that animal sheltering services, animal care and veterinary services be considered essential functions in all communities.
At the Marine Corps Scholarship Foundation, the health, safety and welfare of our students, investors, and staff are our first and foremost concerns. Like you, we are monitoring the situation and following the guidance of our Nation's health experts and appropriate authorities. Our staff members are working remotely and several of our upcoming events have been postponed.

RELATED: 

DOD announces death of first US service member from COVID-19

WATCH: National Guard troops haul goods to dozens of grocery stores across Arizona

Before You Leave, Check This Out