PHOENIX - Brendan McDonough plans to spend June 30, 2016, out of the state. The lone Granite Mountain Hotshot to survive the Yarnell Hill fire incident that killed 19 of his fellow firefighters 3 years ago, he will spend the 3rd anniversary with family and friends.
“If I want to think about a certain guy, I’m going to think about that guy tomorrow. Or if I want to think about a certain time or a certain story, I’m going to think about that story,” he said.
The former wildland firefighter doesn’t dread June 30 any more. In fact, in some ways he embraces it. Choosing to use the day to honor his 19 friends.
“I definitely don’t want to skip past the 30th," he said. "I want to honor my brothers.”
He said time and counseling has helped heal him. And while there are still nightmares and bouts of anxiety, he can look back on his time with the hotshots and smile more often than not.
Conversations he now has with people are not focused on the fire. “It used to be the only questions people asked me were, 'what happened that day? How did they die? What do you think? What’s the guilt? What’s the shame?' So for a long time the only questions I got were the ones that tug at your heart,” he said.
In some ways his relationship with the guys is stranded in time. His memories are all reflective with no chance of new ones. For a long time that was tough to come to terms with, but now he smiles and thinks about the wonderful times they had.
“We had some great times on the mountain or just goofing around,” said McDonough.
McDonough credits his brothers with helping to shape his life and turning him into the man and father he is today. He calls it “sweat equity” that was gained over time from being around the team. He plans to continue to honor the 19 heroes every chance he gets and is amazed at how many lives they have touched around the country.