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As we remember tWitch, a mental health expert shares signs of struggle

A Valley therapist, who's spent more than 20 years counseling through times of crisis, shares the best ways to help others.

PHOENIX — So many people were shocked Wednesday after learning that tWitch, also known as Stephen Boss, Ellen's fun-loving DJ and dancer, took his own life at the age of 40.

It's hard to believe someone who brought smiles, laughter and love on the outside could've been hurting so much on the inside.

His Instagram posts with his wife and fellow dancer Allison Holker were always entertaining and lively, oftentimes including their kids.

It was just this past May when I caught up with tWitch and Allison as they teamed up with the Great Wolf Lodge and their “Pack of Parents" program which promotes family fun and togetherness.

I remember thinking, they were such a great loving couple to interview, so down to earth, fun, and full of positivity and light. That's why tWitch's death is such a shock to many.

Sharli Berry is a local mental health counselor and was devastated by the news of tWitch. 

"It was ... it was heart-wrenching,” she told me. 

In the past several years, her clients have doubled because of stressors like the pandemic, the economy, politics, and, right now, the holidays.

“This is one of the most stressful times of the year because of holidays when people are grieving the loss of people who didn't make it,” said Berry.

Berry said these are some of the warning signs you should look for when it comes to suicide:

  • Emotional, mental, or physical exhaustion
  • Poor hygiene
  • Appetite changes
  • Giving away personal belongings
  • Being at peace when they're normally not at peace
  • Being angry, easily irritated, or frustrated
  • Heavy mood swings
  • Calling people just to say good-bye
  • Overcompensating, like acting extremely happy or saying nothing's wrong. That could mean they're masking their true feelings.

If you’re feeling low, Berry said, don't take what you're feeling for granted.

“You know, if you're feeling sad, and you have this just, I call it a low hum. If you just have this consistent, low hum and you just every day, every waking moment, or even 80% to 60% of your day, that you are just you, you can't put your finger on it, talk to someone, talk to someone, it's not normal," she said. "And because people have experienced it for so long, they assume, 'oh, this is just who I am. This is what I deal with.' And that's not OK."

Berry suggests if you know someone who is suffering, but doesn't have the courage to reach out for help, let them know you are there for them and they don’t have to suffer alone.  

“There are so many of us out here that are passionate about what you do and really, really just want you to get better. And suicide is preventable. There are a lot of mental illnesses that are not preventable. Suicide is one of those things that is 100% preventable,” Berry said.

If you or someone you know needs help- please don't hesitate to call 988. The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7 free and confidential support for people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis.

Related

Stephen 'tWitch' Boss, former 'Ellen' DJ, dead at 40

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